Oscars 2008

HERE'S WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE
TO HAVE WATCHED
THE OSCARS
THIS YEAR WITH US:

Jon Stewart's opening monologue highlights:
[transcribed without 'comedic pauses']

"The town was torn apart by a bitter writer’s strike but I’m happy to say that the fight is over, so tonight welcome to the make-up sex." ... "Even Norbit got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren’t good." (BURN!) ...
..and then political: "Have you all had a chance to examine all the candidates, study their positions and pick the Democrat you’ll vote for?" ...
... and then, my 'laugh-out-loud' moment: "Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. How will we know it’s the future?"

First award of the night: costume design... wooooow....
- bizzare "happy working song"
- interesting 'double-flavour' yogurt commercial...

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem...
...speaks Spanish to mom...

Owen Wilson! he's alive!

Best Animated Short Film:

"Madame Tutli Putli" robbed by the classic "Peter and the Wolf"

Tilda Swinton - [Sasha: "she's so nice!"]

...as usual... ... zzz.... nervous audience laughter...

"Hally Berry vs Dame Judy Dench" - double presentation by those Superbad guys ...

Best Lead Actress:

"La vie en rose" Edith Piaf's still got it. Winner Marion Cotillard's "Rocked my Life" speech brought a tear to mine eyes...

- ... poorly formatted montage of previous winnerzzzzzz.... zzz...

Renee Zelwigger's wet 'c' and 'k' sounds... film editing award... trombone switching??

Nicole Kidman's waterfall of diamonds was gross and fascinating all at once...

- ...a much more interesting production design montage... followed by the spry 98-year-old Production Designer dude's long-running speech...

...awkward silence...

- cool commercial for that "Wanted" movie...

- funny Jon Stewart moment: "sorry, there was a technical glitch so we'll have to restart the show" joke.

Penelope Cruzzz... Austria wins foreign language film... zzz...

- Waaayyy too many songs from the cheesy musical "Enchanted" ...zzz....

John Travolta presents good musical award to "Falling Slowly" for Best Original Song from "Once," music and lyrics by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. They were the only good live performance of the night, incidentally.

- decent-to-unfunny- Travolta 'plane parking ticket' gag

...commercials... sex... cars.... squirrels... wolves...

...

Jon Stewart re-brought-out one of the 'Best Orignial Song' winners (Marketa Irglova) because she didn't get to thank people before the music cut her off... touching...

- Cameron Diaz says 'cinematography' properly... Robert Elswit wins for "There Will Be Blood" zzz...

- Hilary Swank with the always 'downer,' although tasteful, montage of this year's dead celebrities.

......oh my god... zzz.......

Tom Hanks best 'documentary short-subject' presentation... shameless Army plug... 'hey, is that Seal?'...

...ugly crying...

Best Documentary Feature:
"Taxi to the Dark Side" beats out Micheal Moore's "Sicko" et al. ...

- Elton John? whaa???

- Funny Best Buy and Kia Sorento commercials...

...slipping into unconsciousness...

Harrison Ford presents Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody for "Juno" ... and her awkward dress slit...

Sasha: "she held it together, Sissy, even when she got to that end part about ... love" (awww...)

...
Lloyd: Helen Mirrin who?
Sasha: That lady with the nice dress?
Lloyd: ...did she just say "cajones?!"
...

Best Actor...

re-captured my interest, even though Daniel Day-Lewis was already a shoe-in for "There Will Be Blood"...

Martin Scorcese presents: Directing - No Country for Old Men - The Coen Brothers, of course.

Denzel Washington presents: Best Motion Picture - No Country for Old Men - - -

And then BOOM! It was over!

I think the best part of watching the Oscars was staying up long enough to watch "I Met the Walrus" afterwards...

Fantastic.


~LloydSmiley.com